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Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
The naughty me makes the nice me giggle.
The good thing about Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don`t even have to hide a body.
I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
When I`m in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they`re safe
and alcohol are now friends.
I don`t have a drinking problem ... I`m just really thirsty.
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
I don`t need an excuse to drink, but thank you for giving me one.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
Some days you just can`t get home to your liquor fast enough
My own personal hell sounds great, actually
He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it`s all screaming and sh!t.