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Peyton Manning saw his shadow this morning...that means six more weeks of bad Papa Johns commercials.
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. ..Especially since I walked there. :)
Be thankful for stupid people, they make it easier for the rest of us to get ahead in life.
Just remember, If we get caught you`re deaf and I don`t speak English.
I`m just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I`m unlucky enough to be a part of
A lie is just a great story that someone ruined by telling the truth.
My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
I think sharks eat people just to be on tv.
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
I`m known all over the world for my exaggerations.
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!
Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.
Days that I don’t have to care about my appearance are my favorite days.
I just wanna be the reason your doctor puts you on a new medication.