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How do I tell my boss I don`t want to do work anymore but still want money.
Yesterday was international ninja day and I didn`t even know. Well played ninja day, well played.
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
I`ll make better mistakes tomorrow.
Blood moon, shooting stars....I gotta move to a safer galaxy
"Does this dress make me look fat?"-- Now, what I SHOULD have said was, "No, dear! You are little black dress approved!" but what came out was, "When did your bum move to the front?"
We played a lot of "Keep The Balloon In The Air" as kids, a game known to most other people as being poor.
Guys I can`t be leave I`m sharing this with you, but I saw my self on TV. After I turned it off.
The worst part of quitting drinking is how few excuses you have for your behavior
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
Anyone who knows me obviously knows a shit ton about awesomeness.
I bet you can`t keep the funny and not funny the same number.
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
I like my coffee like I like my men: caffeinated, made of beans, muscular, tousled hair, you know what, I don`t really know how to do this..