Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
Not to brag, but I can spend hours coming up with reasons not to do something that takes 5 minutes.
Why do cops ask us why we think they pulled us over? It`s their job. I dont go to the station and ask why they think I created a powerpoint.
β100 Calorie Packsβ roughly translated means βEat Two or Three of Theseβ
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra
I wish I was as fat as the first time I thought I was fat.
Some mornings I feel like leaving my coffee until its cold enough that I can just pour it directly into my eyes.
It`s funny how many people I have in my phones contact list who all have the same name Do Not Answer.
Yes, that`s correct. And the horse you rode in on.
Is food porn star a thing yet??
Actually told a girl who`s moving to France soon that "there`s lots of French people over there". It`s a wonder how I can even bathe myself.
I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don`t think they`re ugly or something.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyoneΒ΄s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?