Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Did anyone hear the one about the cross dresser? The happiest day in his life was when he finally got into his girlfriend`s pants.
I wonder if angry people know about naps?
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
Legos are practice for when you get older & buy Ikea furniture
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
I hate being bi-polar. It`s awesome.
why would anyone want a baby? It`s just another thing you have to clean
The only idea worse than New Coke was brown toilet paper...
"They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears
I`m alone in my car ... Counting it as a vacation.
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, “try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal”
Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.
"I understand your logic, but let`s try to look at this more emotionally." - women
I want to live in a world where it’s never too late for breakfast food and never too early for pizza.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!!!!