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My bank account is more like a countdown to homelessness.
I`d walk barefoot across an ocean of Legos for you.
The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
Man, that .01% of germs that can´t be killed by hand sanitizer must be some bad a$$ sh!t
If life gives you lemons make grape juice than lay back and watch people wondering how you did it;)
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember… that’s where the knives are kept.
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children, don’t know very much about children.
I`m a multi-taking procrastinator. I can put off all kinds of things all at once.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then...
I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button
Go ahead, post sober. Ruin everything.
According to WebMD I have déjà vu... but not only that, I also have déjà vu according to WebMD.
Never ask a Leper to "give you a hand", seriously, don`t........................