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"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching.
Call me an optimist, but I always viewed my cup as half full…of Vodka!!
So no pizza place on Ninja Turtles ever questioned the delivery address being “The Sewer”
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a friend.
If you drink enough tonight, you won`t have to lie when you call in sick tomorrow.
If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.
Am I the only one who thinks water has that taste that no one can describe?
Does anyone have a good recipe for homemade gasoline?
They say 1 in 3 people cheat in a relationship. I`m not sure if its my wife or my girlfriend.
I rather be a known drunk, than an Anonimous Alcoholic
Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I`m wrong but...."Don`t do it!! It`s a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!
I give up on life! I have better luck playing Monopoly...or Clue...
Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.