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The only way you can be right in an argument with a woman is by admitting you`re wrong.
The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
I didn`t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared.
Mom: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too? Me: If all parents used that same metaphor would you use it too?
My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate.
Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I`m going to bed
facebooked yo mama!!!
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
Figuring out that you`ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really figuring things out.
Fun Fact: Over 97.8% of men have already made mistakes this year that a woman will remind him about for the rest of his days.
Anyone who calls it a "day off with the kids"... Either has no kids or doesn`t know what "day off" means.