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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

So what was the best thing before sliced bread?
The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like ten so you can choose.
Sometimes, I wonder if the weather app on my phone even looks outside.
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
I got in touch with my inner child and the little sh!t hung up on me.
β€œNothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.
No need to drive me crazy. I can walk from here.
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn.....it`s dead yarn now, though.
You never know how many people you dislike until you have to name your child.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?