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i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
I have a new rule: No one is allowed to talk to me for a minimum of 24 hours after I wake up.
When people ask me what I`m going to be on Halloween, the answer is always the same: really drunk
Enough with the lies, people who drink decaf coffee, tell us what your game plan is.
I watch CSI for the great tips they give out.
My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
There are too many people who could ruin my life by posting a screenshot of a text conversation we’ve had.
There`s a reason why natural disasters have female names.
FYI: You can`t beat rock-paper-scissors with yourself in the mirror.
You mellennials and your obsession with public healthcare, back in my day we just died!
If you find a four-leaf clover it means you have entirely too much time on your hands.
In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.
"You suck! No, you suck!!" - Two women in a threesome
I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone.
I think stupid people were put on this earth to test my anger management skills.