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Ain’t no sandwich when she’s gone.
Superman and Batman probably had a lot of "capes in the toilet water" accidents when they went to take a dump.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I`m in public.
You can be like "This is a slippery slope" or you can be like "Weeeeeeee!"
How do I like my eggs? ... Umm in a cake.
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name...
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “Would you please press 1?” So I did. I don’t remember much afterwards.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness."
That awkward moment when you take a bath in the middle of the day and don`t know whether to wear normal clothes or pajamas.
If I was on drugs, this post would be amazing.
People who get offended on the internet are the same people who take mini golf seriously.
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.
Plumber: you have hard water. Me: you mean like ice?