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Holiday Shopping Tip #112:Next time you see someone with their arms full of bags looking around a parking lot while pointing and clicking their horn button, help them out and start pushing your horn button too!
Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
Light travels faster than sound.. That is why some people appear bright until they speak.
Was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer...
Few things are creepier than someone saying "I know" after you introduce yourself.
Do one thing every day that scares you. Or one thing that scares other people.
I just don`t have enough middle fingers for today.
When bears are around, try to look skinny and they won`t eat you. If that doesn`t work, kick your buddy in the nuts and RUN!
After four centuries, the semicolon has finally achieved it`s true calling: helping people wink online.
LIKE if you talk to yourself and laugh because you’re just that hilarious.
Know why girls cross their arms when they`re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who`s in charge around here.
"Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven`t slept in a week!
Someday, the time I waste deciding what to watch on Netflix will be shorter than the actual time watching it
If you see a girl or guy post pictures of their cat you know they`re single.
No need to blind fold me, just hand me my phone and drive, I won`t have a clue how to get back here