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Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
I`m convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.
Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
There are too many people who could ruin my life by posting a screenshot of a text conversation we’ve had.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere complement on their mustache...and then she won`t talk to you anymore.
"Let the chips fall where they may." -My kids when they`re eating chips on the couch.
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost.
I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn`t even lift him.
Why does whoop-ass only come in a can?
Being stuck in the`` friend zone`` is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired.
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
No need to blind fold me, just hand me my phone and drive, I won`t have a clue how to get back here
I feel like a nickle in the March of Dimes.