Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Lets face it we have all tried to get something done before the microwave timer goes off.
Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you
Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over.
Computer froze? Just press all the keys.
Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
I slept like a rock last night, meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
if you were 2 times as smart as you are now ... you would still be stupid
I sure do feel a lot more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym.
I`m too lazy to ever write a biography. Story of my life.
If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is not working.
It really pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn`t move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.