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Bored? Update your Facebook to “in a relationship” with someone you’ve never met just to see if they’ll confirm.
Try sliding down a water slide without running water to realize how important foreplay is
I go to McDonald`s once a month just to replenish the napkin stash in my car
Got a problem with me? I’m pretty sure a status on Facebook won’t fix it.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.
I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
When I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult. So yeah...kids are stupid.
About to stick a pin in your voodoo doll.... Brace yourself.
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
Life would be so much more interesting if we all had cartoon bubbles over our heads.
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!
Thanksgiving is a great time to test the boundaries of how drunk you can get before your family members notice.
Organized people are just to lazy to look for things.
Question everything...Or should you?