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I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I`m not sure whether to believe this or not.
Personally, I believe that around 93% of the world`s population should run with scissors.
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
I found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
Women`s logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag.
You are by far my smartest and best looking friend on Facebook.
I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.
I don`t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that "dry clean only" is not a dare.
OMG guys!! im so happy!! the doctors just gave me a jacket so im always hugging myself!!
people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but it`s the only way I can talk to you.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit"
My weight loss goal is to not care about the crumbs at the bottom of a Pringles can.
I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t