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I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet ... I get hungry.
Warning: this life contains strong language, adult situations and nudity.
My friend works at a rubber dog poop factory. He`ll never get rich, but he makes doo.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all.
I thought I was on the cash cab show! But turns out I was in a police car and cops hate trivia.
Yoga pants are just push up bras for your butt.
Cold? Try Netflix. You’ll still be cold, but you’ll be watching Netflix.
Roses Are Red, Violets Are Red, Trees Are Red ... F*ck? my gardens on fire!
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a beer while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care..
"Paypal me your lunch money!" -Cyber Bullies
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
He who laughs first, must be connected to wi-fi.
I`m hungry, but I`m not `cook something` hungry.
Mini M&M`s - for when you just can`t finish an entire M&M