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Anyone else immediately turn down the car radio the second you think you might be lost?
You can test my patience all you want, but I’m never going to pass.
Please don’t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I’m awesome doesn’t mean I like you.
Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google and Wikipedia.
Wait till the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald`s find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.
If you have fewer than 25 FB friends. Please unfriend me because thats just embarassing and I dont want to be on your "loser" list.
Clearly, it is wrong to describe woman`s menopause as "the old Fallopian tubes finally rusting shut." My bad.
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
Me, on phone to credit card company: What if you just break my kneecaps and we call it even?
I`m known all over the world for my exaggerations.
It takes patience to listen.., it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
The cop said it was an outstanding warrant, dad! And you said I`d never amount to anything...
The only reason any of us can spell laboratory is because of Dexter.
Hey, people who don`t drive *exactly* like I do. Get off the road!
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!