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You know you`ve won the argument when the other person responds with "Whatever..."
All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.
Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
I`m not feeling myself today ... would you do it for me?
It`s a good thing Taylor Swift and Adele aren`t dating. Imagine if they broke up.
“I demand a recount.” – Me, in a nugget dispute at McDonald’s.
What`s the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? I never had a Garbanzo Bean on my face.
The biggest lie I tell myself is: “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often
Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
Ugh, stalkers are horrible. You`d think someone could`ve let me know I was out of toilet paper.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn`t met me yet
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?