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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
AA meetings would be better if AA stood for Alcohol Afterwards
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
I`ve actually have come to the conclusion that some of today`s youth may actually believe "laughing out loud" is actually spelled "lol"
Oh, he uses you for sex? Stop bitching…Sex is awesome. Complain when he’s using you for laundry….. or a human shield.
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
The first guy who persuaded a blind guy to wear sunglasses, must have been a hell of a salesman.
I have the worst case of morning sickness. No I am not pregnant, my body just rejects mornings.
Since 4th of July falls on a Wednesday do we drink the weekend before? the weekend after? That Wednesday? The entire week? The entire month? The entire year?
Whoever said “two wrongs don’t make a right” has obviously never experienced McDonalds breakfast after a night of binge drinking.
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
Whenever a stranger asks our baby’s name, I always say he hasn’t told us yet.
If you’ve been naughty… go to your room. If you want to be naughty… go to mine.
Smelling another person should be a choice.