Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In today`s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
Drinking lots of beer and doing my taxes. So far the Government owes me 3.1 million. I love this Country!
Marriage. When dating goes too far.
You know you`re single when the only calls you get at night are Nature`s.
Congratulations! I`ve finally snapped, and you`re first on my list!
Just once would I like to see the "Phone a Friend" lifeline on Millionaire go straight to voicemail.
I don`t know if I`ve got some free time, or if I just forgot what the hell I`m supposed to be doing...
You look like I need another drink
The trouble with children is that they´re not returnable.
Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
The phrase "use of the jerk-off motion is prohibited" has been added to our HR manual because of me. It`s like winning an award.
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."
Building the city on rock and roll was probably the wrong move from an engineering perspective.