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Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
If a woman shaves her legs for you, at least every other day, in the Winter time, it`s Love.
I used to wake up feeling like a million bucks. Now I wake up feeling like a bounced check.
Some day I wanna be "change my oil every 3000 miles" rich!
"what doesnt kill u makes u smaller" -mario Lol
I can`t wait to get home and have make-up sex! ... I`ve been arguing all day with myself.
did you notice when you yell "yo ugly" about 10 people turn around
Pillow forts have no age limit when you’re awesome.
For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job...
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
Took the ice from my ice bucket challenge and put it in my whisky.
I hate that little line of dirt that I can never get into the dust pan.
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche...
Our swear jar is always empty because of all the god damn foul mouthed thieves that live in this f*cking house.