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I like the part of the day when food happens.
A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
Judge me if you will, just keep the verdict to yourself.
To the woman that won the powerball ... "what`s up baby"
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
Easy come, easy go describes my last 12 cases of beer and 17 relationships.
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
No matter how many lives you have in Candy Crush, you’ll still never get your own back.
A police officer came up to me yesterday and asked , "Where were you between four and six?" I said, "kindergarten".
I get paid to be nice at work. Not sure why my family and friends expect that for free.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
A day without sunshine is like, you know... night