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I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it`s a website to find love. So I was close.
I wonder if angry people know about naps?
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
No matter what the product, a good way to throw off an aggressive salesman is to interrupt him and ask, “Yes, but does it work on cats?”
I wish there was more BitStrips and photos of giraffes on my Facebook
Mall kiosk employees are basically human pop up ads.
Sometimes what sounds like opportunity knocking is actually disappointment leaving a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep.
I`m tired of doing math. I guess I`ll get my lazy as up and fix my clocks today
B!tches be trippin ... OK, maybe I pushed one.
"Has anybody ever seen a chicken fly? No? Good, there`s nothing wrong with ya"
I believe that every person has a story to tell...which is why I stay at home.
love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.
Women, we don`t say this enough, but thank you...Thank you for not killing us in our sleep. Sincerely, Men.
Well it`s almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!
Ever wish the choice you made and the “right thing to do” were the same thing?