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Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry’s in the oven. I’m going to bed.
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
Apparently there is no age limit on ignorance.
That sounds fried. I`ll take it.
Did Humpty Dumpty sue them motherf*ckers for making that wall so high?
It`s hard to be a good person when kids fit so perfectly into trash cans.
Your silent treatment should be accompanied by a disappearing act.
Today I caught myself smiling ... I was thinking of you ... Don´t flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Some families are like Snickers Bars. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!
I wonder if Monday can see my middle finger from here?