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New Rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I am guaranteed at least one attempt at trying to trip you.
"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.
I yawn all day at work & school. But when it comes to at night, I’m not tired at all.
I really like compliments but I don`t want anyone talking to me...
*Food hits floor* Little Germs: “Let’s get it!”King Germ: “No, we must wait 5 seconds!”
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
I don`t burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little bit each day.
It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist`s finger before she stops believing that you`re doing it accidentally.
My favorite holiday spirit is poured over ice.
I hate mosquitoes, I mean I know I’m delicious but damn.
Being normal is boring.
Played Naked Twister last night and man, did it get RAUNCHY!....I can`t imagine what it would be like with other people.