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I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
www.amish.com. How did this happen?
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
9 out of 10 husbands agree that their wives are always right. The 10th one hasn`t been seen since the study was conducted.
You know its bad when you feel like your life is being directed by Quentin Tarantino.
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail…
I`ve had such a bad week First my girlfriend got run over by a bus, then I lost my job.. ..as a bus driver
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
If you don`t have anything nice to say, put it all on social networks
im so hungry, im farting fresh air
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
A smart man washes his hands after he pees. A wise man doesn`t pee on his fingers.
If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be "bad at following directions."
"Hello 911?" "Someone just stole my status on Facebook... yes, I`ll hold."
If I ever get arrested I am going to ask for a status update instead of a phone call.