Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m still mad that video killed the radio star.
I like the part of the day when food happens.
When girls wear yoga pants I feel like a ghost from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.
I hate when beggars rattle their cup full of coins at me. Yes i know! You have more money than me, you don`t have to rub it in..
Hockey is much better if you imagine the teams are fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
If your friends can accurately guess your age, you need to find dumber friends.
The doctor said I need to drink more whiskey....Oh, by the way... I`m calling myself "the doctor" now.
Every girl is beautiful, sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it....
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
No. My hair magically got shorter.
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.
I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn`t take and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin
After socializing and being nice to people all day it`s nice to sit down, drink by myself, and be an a$$hole on the Internet.