Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The worlds gonna end in 5 days & I don`t know what I`m gonna wear.
Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
I wish I could just “like” a text so I don’t have to respond.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come into work.
Here`s a crazy concept, maybe I`m not in a bad mood, angry, or a bitch. Maybe I said it because it`s true and I meant it. Marinate on that.
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
When I get to heaven, the first question I`m asking God is, why does my butt have more hair than my head?
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
I don`t need drugs to have a good time, I need them to focus, avoid depression, endure winter, fall asleep, and controll my high blood pressure
An egg salad is really just a chicken salad that is really underdone.
Sent an email to my Mom. Now I`m at her place showing her how to open it.
Whoever said paper beats rock is an idiot. Next time that happens, I`m gonna throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.