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Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
How long do I have to wear these skinny jeans before they start working?
What do sleeping and sex have in common? I`m not getting nearly enough of either.
Guys if a woman shaves hers legs she wants you to touch them..... You just have to make sure she knows You.
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
Scratch and Sniff Here [____] …Smells like glass, doesn’t it
I`ll never be to old to redecorate your garden gnomes in the middle of the night.
Swiss army knives are only like 8% knife.
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
The light does go out in the fridge ... Now I have to wait for someone to let me out.
A sheep spends it`s entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.
Walmart has their new Savings Catcher app... I`m thinking savings isn`t the only thing you will catch ...
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a girl who`s free for the weekend.
I think I may have misunderstood my boss yesterday when she told me that she wanted to see me hard at work