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I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.
FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
After visiting the gov`t healthcare site, I don`t know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
Somedays I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running.
Something I never said as a kid: My book stopped working.
My internet went down last week...so I talked to my family....thank goodness the internet came back
My Living Will says it`s okay to pull the plug on me, but I`d like them to at least try jiggling it a few times first.
I quit my job and handed in my badge and gun to my boss, he said, why do you have a gun? You work at McDonald’s.
I make a great second impression.
Singing in the shower is illegal according to this Ikea security guard.
Apparently members of the Westboro Baptist Church were outside a theater when the marquee gave way and came crashing down injuring several of them amidst their protest. Witnesses overhead many of the members muttering to themselves, "It must be a sign."
What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.
My mind has a mind of its own.
My “I hate you” face must look a lot like my “I’m loving this conversation” face.