Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t hate you, I`m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
I`m an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want
If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don`t want it.
When I was your age, we had to walk 10 miles in the snow to get drunk and have sā¬x.
Doing absolutely nothing on the weekends has started to feel more fun than actually going out.
I can`t believe The Stones are still doing it after all these years. Someday I want to have a marriage like Fred and Wilma.
My wife hasnt stopped looking through the window since it started raining. If it gets worse, I might have to let her back in...
Mom: You haven`t moved since I left 5 hours ago? Me: Excuse me, where do you think these chips came from!!???
If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
If monogamy is sex with only one person, what is origami?
Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great,I know this is too much for u,so here is a shortcut-Just think about me
Being alive is so expensive.
Do girls that make duck faces in pictures walk in a V formation at the mall?
6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married