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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
Don`t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
This job fair sucks... They don`t have one F*cking ride...
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
Zombies only eat brains. You’re safe.
I’m the king of balancing more trash on top of an already full trash can.
75% of women in open relationships don`t actually know it yet.
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.
If there`s no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra`s?
There`s no room in my life for B.S. ... Unless it`s burritos oand salsa
I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
Now if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.