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I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
The women at this gym act like nobody’s ever tried taking their measurements before.
Edward Scissorhands will never win a game of rock, paper, scissors.
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
I was an atheist, until I realized I was a sex god.
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When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.
If tomatoes are a fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie.
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
Stealing other people`s statuses on Facebook is called a Facelift.
Fun Fact about me: The drunker I get, the more karate I know.
My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
Fun Things to do : Commenting “not your best” on everybody’s selfies.
Never do anything for money. Unless it’s a lot of money. Then do anything.
.Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh. Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes. Sunday: Crying.