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I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
How do I tell my boss I don`t want to do work anymore but still want money.
Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
Apparently, you can only say "Look at you! You got so big!" to kids. Old girlfriends tend to get offended. Who knew?
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There´s apparently more traffic going to hell!!
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
I was only 6 numbers away from winning the powerball.
If my fridge had glass doors I would still stand there and hold the door open.
you can´t drink all day if you don´t start in the morning
No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook.
You chicks spend a lot of money on makeup to look pretty. Save your cash, buy him Alcohol.
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.
Million dollar idea: A snooze button that lets you sleep longer the harder you hit it.