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I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
Do you think that the guy who invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "if you build it they will come"?
Parts of a worm: 1) Worm
Boobs, because you can`t motorboat a personality.
“Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
The fastest way to get someone to call you back is to take a shower.
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
I walked into SeaWorld with a fishing pole once. I gotta tell ya, those security guards can really run.
Yo! My friend won a trip to China. He´s out there now... trying to win a trip back.
I haven`t lost all of my marbles but there is definitely a hole in the bag.
Walmart...because going to Target requires identity theft protection and a shower.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Now if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.
"Love your friends, Not their sisters." & "Love your sisters, Not their friends." -By Mummy...
If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?