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Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That`s how many seconds you just wasted.
You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
I just burned 1200 calories! I forgot about the pizza in the oven.
Does anyone actually know what you have to do when people are singing Happy Birthday to you.
Just got in 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick an ice cube up off the kitchen floor.
I got this weird condition where I drink a case of beer and fall down.
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
Don`t bother trying to figure me out...not even the little voices in my head understand me...it`s pointless.
I`d like to change and get comfy, yet that requires effort. Ever feel this lazy?
How much Hershey`s Chocolate Syrup can I add before it`s really not a SlimFast shake anymore?
Looks like I’m in the doghouse again, but I don’t know why. All I said to the wife was, “Is there anything important you want to tell me before the World Cup starts?”
It would be great if there was an app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
Do you know what I hate worse than people? Groups of people.
No one should be surprised that so many statuses are about unhappiness and failure. You don’t end up on Facebook by making good life decisions.