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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
I`m pretty sure apple kid below needs help..
If you`re going take a bathroom picture, at least clean it off. I can`t see anything through all the toothpaste.
The problem with diets is pizza.
Installing home security cameras seemed like a great idea but explaining my dance offs with the dog was something I should`ve considered.
Pro tip: Do not make snow angels in a dog park.
If you ever get caught sleeping during work, just slowly raise your hand and say "In Jesus name I pray, Amen."
I could write an entire book on excuses,,, but I have to pick my grandma up at the airport.
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
I like to think all pizzas are personal pizzas.
When you introduce clapping to your dancing you might probably be too old to be in a night club at 1am.
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?