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So tell me, does it hurt to be so full of sh!t?
That awkward moment when you get in the van... And there`s no candy.
Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
You can`t fix STUPID, but you can Numb it with a 2x4.
I don`t throw anything out anymore I just go to TGI Friday`s once a month and glue more sh!t to the wall, no one notices, try it
Today`s interpretive dance was brought to you by "Spider On My Shirt". Up next we have "Oh jeeze, where did it go?!"
You know you`re old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
I wonder if anyone has watched Storage Wars and said, "Hey, that`s my stuff!"?
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head...
In retrospect, replying "Happy as a serial killer in a skin suit factory", probably wasn`t the best way to respond to my therapist.
You ever think that maybe the reason geese are always honking is because they`re flying too close together?
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.
Don`t judge a man by how low his pants hang below his a$$...just kidding, that`s a great reason to judge someone.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?