Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If my calculations are correct then someone else did them for me.
Ever work out and think "wow I really needed that"? That`s how I feel about the chocolate chip cookie I just ate.
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
if you hold a dinner fork really close to your eyes, you can pretend that they`re in jail
I don’t care how high you set the bar as long as I can reach my drink.
Shout out to bees, willing to kill themselves just to inconvenience a hater.
The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
If it looks like a pig and walks like a pig, do me a favor & tell my ex girlfriend I said hello.
"Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
No matter what you do on the computer you always end up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Youtube.
Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
If our phones were really smart, they would tell us to get off of Facebook and do something meaningful or constructive with our lives.