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That awkward moment when You accidentally hit the LIKE button During Facebook stalking.
you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
Well I was gonna donate blood today until the lady got all personal and started asking "who´s blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
North West? Im confused i thought Kim Kardashian gave birth to a child not a compass
My body keeps doing these muscle twitches like it wants me to get off this couch and move around. HAHAHAHA. As if.
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
Slutty girls are like Walmarts, everyone makes fun of them but when you`re inside one at 4am you think, i`m glad these are here.
My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.
My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party, so I invited All of her Friends over and made them clean the house.
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
I`m alone in my car ... Counting it as a vacation.
I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.
My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.