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Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
I`m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You`re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what`s going on here.
There`s no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
Can’t wait till I’m old and I can play the ‘fall asleep’ card in awkward situations.
How awesome would it be if boobs made maraca sounds when you shook them? LOL
I don`t know about you....but I have thought about running away from home way more as an adult than I ever did as a kid.
I don`t drink to get drunk, I drink to.....no wait, I definitely drink to get drunk.
There is 1 mosquito in my apartment. I have 50 bullets. Let`s dance.
When I see a shoe on the side of the road I wonder if Cinderella is in a nearby house.
I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.
No one answers their phones anymore... If I ever get arrested, I don`t want a damn phone call, I want a facebook posting.
I can think of other ways to eat fresh, but I`ll settle for this subway sandwich.
Milk Duds: When you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw
I`ll be busy tonight taking my girlfriend out to dinner and then having sex all night. Is what I`d be saying if I had money ... or a girlfriend