Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you.
Ran into the girl who broke my heart. Totally worth the damage to my car.
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can`t remember what they are.
That awkward moment when you realise you have way more internet friends than real friends.
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
Actually officer, I`d prefer to think that vodka smells like me.
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.
I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.
I`ve been sober 136 days. Not in a row, but still...
You say hangover. I say out of booze.
You can`t be late until you show up
If I were the guy who made the Where`s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn`t there
To the individual who sat outside in their car, across the street from our house, at 530 am and had Led Zepplens Immigrant Song blaring at full volume, I have one thing to say to you! AWESOME CHOICE DUDE!!!!!!!