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If you are hotter than me, wouldn’t that make me cooler than you.
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
If cartoons are a reliable guide, the secret to never aging is wearing the same clothes every day.
You can correct people`s grammar or you can have friends. But you can`t do both.
It`s like my golf instructor thinks I`m mature enough to handle him talking about balls, and how to properly grip the club.
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pac Man, for 25 cents that bitch would swallow balls til she died!
The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
Does anyone else get scared when a text reads "Can I ask you a question?"
If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.
you know it`s a good fart when it wakes you from a dead sleep and you pull a butt muscle at the same time.
If you can read this, you`re not having sex either.
Benefits of hooking up with me: You will be hooking up with me. I could go on but I think I made my point.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those medications.
Life is to short ... to waste time matching socks.
So apparently RSVP-ing to a wedding invite with "Maybe next time" wasn`t the best response. Who knew?