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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
If you never set it, you always have the excuse, "I overslept because the alarm didn`t go off."
Every parent’s superpower is the ability to communicate “I love you!” and “I will kill you!” with a single look.
I forgot to pay my bill to the exorcist and so I got re-possesed.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
I do marathons ... on Netflix.
How long have I been working here? ... Ever since they threatened to fire me.
I`m gonna name my son Wussell so people think he has a speech impediment.
This beer sure tastes like I`m on vacation next week!
I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk? ... my apocolypse plans depend on it ... thanks!
Either I wrote a bunch of drunken Facebook status updates last night, or my dog has finally figured out the computer.