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My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to get fat.
I don`t hate you, but if you we`re drowning, I would dive in and handcuff a piano to your neck.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
I don`t remember anything that happened, but I may have had a drink or two...
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
Sure, I was walking home from the bar drunk, but I wasn`t even stumbling. My guess is, the cops just had it in for naked people.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do.
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
yes I have a dirty mind, and yes you are in it...
I hate when I`m about to hug somebody really sexy and my face hits the mirror!!
I`m never free but I`m available.
I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
I thought "twerking" was short for "networking". I really embarrassed myself while giving that presentation to the company`s Board of Directors.
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?