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Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
Business Plan: 1. Hold sign that says "Free Hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see them pick their nose?
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
My job blocked the Favstar website and I`m not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I`m totally taking hostages.
“Shh.. Do you hear that?” “What? I heard nothing.” “Exactly, it’s the sound of no one caring.”
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
Your a$$ must be jealous everytime sh*t comes out of your mouth.
The problem with the world is intelligent people are full of doubts, while stupid people are full of confidence.
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
My memory foam has amnesia
roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face
How can you tell if someone went to the gym? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers