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To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
Sometimes I order Domino`s but give them Pizza Hut`s address. And when they show up and start fighting, I just wait with my mouth open.
Crazy? ... My therapist does say I should quit talking to myself.
It has been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches — and it doesn’t matter if it is Visa or MasterCard
Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
The hardest question of the weekend.. can or bottle?
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
I`m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
If I was a Chinese millionaire I would change my name to Cha Ching.
I’m amazed by how quickly I forget what I’m doing.
College is the only time in which being poor and drunk is acceptable.
Facebook should make it to where it says, `Went from being in a relationship` to `Problem solved.`