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I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can’t these days. My phone battery just doesn’t have the stamina any more.
Accidentally bought a bag of raw almonds. Turns out I don`t like almonds, I like salt.
The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??
I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they`re in the middle of a race.
This generation is guilty of making the wrong people rich and famous.
The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry’s in the oven. I’m going to bed.
They should paint the bottom of swimming pools with satellite photos so it feels like you’re flying.
Your name should be Gelette because you`re the best a man can get
Dating Tip: If she hasn`t kissed you by the third date, she`s there for the food.
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I`m heading north to start a new life.
I haven`t seen any new episodes of Gilligan`s Island in awhile... I hope they`re OK.
Life is all about tough decisions such as… Getting enough sleep or staying on the internet.
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.