Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes I say stuff without even meaning to be funny and I`m like "Man, my subconsicious is hilarious!"
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
Is your GPS supposed to sigh before it says "Recalculating"?
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
When I was a kid, I used to sing, `A, B, C,D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P`
If you were a Pokemon, I`d choose you.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it`s slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever.
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
Mom said angels are watching over me. I`m just afraid they`re taking notes to make sure I go to hell.
Without the sanctity of marriage there wouldn`t be job security for divorce attorneys and marriage counselors.
Buy all your socks in one color - problem of the missing sock solved!
The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies I’m going to pay with.
I am sweet, lovable, kind, shy, and innocent ... Oh, for heaven`s sake! Stop laughing!
I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.