Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes I’ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I’ll be like, “oh no, that can’t be right.”
Everyone around me keeps telling me I`m mean ... Which is absurd ... Plus, they`re ugly.
I hate hanging out with MC Hammer, he never let`s me touch anything.
If I were a cashier I`d pretend people were waiting in line to kiss me.
Calm down! I`m not officially late until I actually get there.
Sö î hèãrd ÿôu lìkê gùÿš with ácçeñts?
You don’t have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.
Billion dollar idea: A phone that charges using body fat!
University; It`s like being unemployed, but your parents are proud of you.
Why can`t everyday be football Sunday?
I hope that man who was walking in memphis found out the way he really felt
Damn, it`s like these people have never seen anyone bring a flask to the gym before.
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
You couldn`t handle five minutes in my head.