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That awkward moment when You accidentally hit the LIKE button During Facebook stalking.
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
They say money can`t buy you happiness, but I`ve got a receipt from the liquor store telling a whole different story.
New day, same old bullsh!t
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
I just got gas for $1.79... Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.
I miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like, bitch whatever.
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?
Life advice: Enjoy the f*ck out of it. It`s that simple.
Maybe this comment wont be important for you guys here. Some of you will ignore it, most of yall wont bother to read and it`ll go unnoticed along with some others. maybe I`ll be criticized for this but I just want to let yall know I`m selling potatoes
Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject