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You`re as useless as a referee in the WWE
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
Friends with benefits? What, like you can provide dental insurance?
How come the voices inside of a crazy person`s head never say shit like "hey, go to the gym" or "hey, cure cancer" or "hey, don`t be crazy"?
Sometimes, when people are talking to me, I daydream about what they would do if I suddenly punched them in the face.
I wonder how many couples would still be together if they traded phones for a weekend
AT this stage in my life an ALL NIGHTER JUST means I didn`t have to get up and pee....
If I didn`t drink, then how would everyone know how much I love them at 2am?
Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
Weird how old people suddenly stop being so deaf the second you put music they don’t like on
If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair with them....its like expecting a lion not to eat you because you don`t eat lion.
I’ve spent way too much of my life wondering why food doesn’t rhyme with good.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears
I smile because your my daughter. I laugh because there`s nothing you can do about it. ;)