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The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy then seeing someone actually having a good life.
There is no better sunscreen than sitting inside a bar.
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
This donut scented car freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
You`re an intellectual who doesn`t read books? I completely understand because I`m an athlete that rarely moves.
My brain contains a few things I should know and the rest is just song lyrics.
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
LIFE always offers you a second chance,its called TOMORROW
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
I don`t care if you wear footie pj`s or sleep with a Snuggie. If you swish Listerine in your mouth for the full 30 seconds, you are BADA$$.
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever