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I don`t know what`s scarier. Houses with Halloween decorations or houses that still have up Christmas decorations from last year.
A handshake means something completely different to a cannibal.
You make me have filthy thoughts, and for that I thank you...
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
PRO TIP: Date someone who doesn`t drink vodka so she won`t drink all of yours.
It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman, it doesn`t matter if its Visa or Mastercard.
No one`s going to do it for you. It`s up to you, to make naps a priority in your life.
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who really do.
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
The Bible is Christianity’s Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
I`ve finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.
I`ve always wondered is jellyfish are sad because there are no peanut butter fish.
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.