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So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?
Sometimes I`m completely inconsiderate to other peoples feelings. And other times I`m asleep.
I`ve got good news and bad news. The good news is this status is almost over. The bad news is you read the whole thing.
As a community service, I send random inmates letters how my life is going to cheer them up.
I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.
This prefessor`s nuts. He keeps saying pie is square. I know better, pies are round, cakes are square!
My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn`t want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
Caterpillars have it made. They eat a lot, go to sleep, then wake up beautiful.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of people wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I`m available.
Is it bad when I´m talking to myself and I´m not even listening?
I assume when I get put on hold after I call customer service, it`s because 2 guys are flipping a coin to see who pretends to be the manager.
Baking soda seems like a scam. "Be sure to keep this box of magic white powder in the back of your refrigerator."
The corner of my bathtub is also referred to as "The Shampoo Bottle Graveyard"