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Welcome to my Facebook wall. Straight jackets are on your left, meds are on the table, and if you hurry, you can still get a seat in group therapy . . . have fun!
The self-checkout line was a miracle for the condom industry.
Divorce is expensive because its worth it.
The bat signal seems pretty useless if they need Batman during the day.
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
Why does Facebook even give me the option to `Like` my own status? Of course I like my status, I`m F*ck!ng Hilarious! ...and Sexy.
My favorite beer is the next one.
My anaconda really doesn`t care if you got buns or not.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
Some people should use a glue stick for lip balm
I`m so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
Don`t blame me, I was born awesome ;)
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found `mute` by now.
why we do not have a romance class...............