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I just found out people are playing golf online. And I thought my life sucked!
People always get so excited about the next generation iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology that`s called a Turn Signal.
Men hang out in bars for one of two reasons: Either they have no wife to go home to, or they do
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
It is literally impossible to prove that Harry Potter wasn`t just in his parents basement on acid the whole time
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!
The worst thing about finding out Santa isn`t real is that you realise it was your parents who were to blame for all the terrible presents
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
I am the head of this household, and I have my wife`s permission to say so.
I wonder if Earth makes fun of the Moon for having no life.
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
A procrastinator’s work is never done.