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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Now that Microsoft`s Steve Ballmer has bought the Clippers, I wonder if he will release a new version every few years that we all hate.
In space they just call it "Jam"
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
Alex, I`ll take WTF for a $1000
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
If there is enough room to spell `bootylicious` on the back of your shorts...it probably isn`t
Going to a bar where "everybody knows your name" sounds terrifying.
I hate sneezing during sex, as it alerts the neighbours and lets them know I`m watching.
When I think of a good status in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it’s too late.
Tarantulas are like cigarettes. They are pretty much harmless, until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.
is ready to have one too many!
Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my lovers hair. It`s a nice way to let them know my love and also that we`re out of napkins.