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79% of accidents happen in the home....... Finally, good news for the homeless
SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
Sometimes I feel bad about the things I say and do, but today is not one of those days.
Does this green St Patrick`s Day beer count as a vegetable.
Do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? Because if it is bothering you, I can stop.
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
Just a friendly reminder, there are a minimum of three spiders in your room at all times. Goodnight...
If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
*Sees my name in a math textbook* class: *stares at me* me: "yeah b!tches I bought 60 watermelons"
Don`t be sad if you didn`t get a Valentine`s Day gift, lt`s not the end of the world. That`s still ten months away.
Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.
"Did you know that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?"
I got kicked out of a Yoga class today. Apparently, your not supposed to do the `Downward Dog` on top of another person.