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Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
My greatest talent is being able to watch 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week.
What if all this time it`s been Chicken that taste like Frog legs????
Accidentally took a women`s multi vitamin & I`ve been trying to get dressed for the past 3 hours, but everything is making me look fat.
Just been wondering what "please Do Not Touch" would be in Braille
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast.
How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
Give up, itsy-bitsy spider. It wasn`t meant to be.
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
If you don`t remember her name in the morning, take her to Starbucks.
It`s scientifically proven that stress is caused by giving a f*ck.
I don’t want to rule the world… Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
My weight loss goal is to not care about the crumbs at the bottom of a Pringles can.
You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.