Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If the human race has a "signature move," its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.
Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, "I like where I wake up to always be a surprise."
If you eat it in the car before you get home, it never existed.
Today is International Women’s Day. It was actually supposed to be held 2 days ago but they took too long to get ready.
If only my ceiling fan could hold my weight, then I would never be bored again.
Oh, you think you have relationship problems? Try separating me from my bed in the morning...
SOCIAL WORKER: cop without a gun, judge without a gavel.
Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet thanks to you
The trouble with bucket seats is that, not everybody has the same size bucket.
Boobs are like the Sun. You can stare at them directly just for a few seconds, but if you put on sunglasses, you can stare as much as you want!
I`m already an idiot, I just need a village.
The difference between your house smelling like delicious popcorn or burnt a$$ is around 24 seconds ..
I always drink responsibility I make sure that someone is responsible for buying me drinks.
If I’m going to sweep all of my problems under the rug, then I’m going to need a bigger rug.
How can you tell if someone went to the gym? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.