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I love running my fingers through my girlfriend`s hair. It`s also a great way to let her know we`re out of napkins.
I`m lost, no wait..... Yep, lost for sure
The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
Work is the result of failing to procrastinate effectively.
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.
I try to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
Some people should use a glue stick for lip balm
thumbs up if you pee on the side of the toilet to make it quiet.
"I want to be cuddled, but I want to be alone. Being crazy is hard." - WOMEN
"Better to be pissed off than pissed on!" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I`m not angry or covered in piss.
I don’t have a bucket list, but my f*cket list is a mile long.
Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.
The awkward moment when someone say "I gotta use the restroom.... Never mind."