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Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
My wife is so annoying. "Do you think I`m sexy? Am I hot? How gorgeous am I? Do I have a nice ass?" I just want her to answer me.
Sleep feels the way pizza tastes.
I`m not the sort of person you should put on speakerphone.
Shout out to weathermen telling us the barometric pressure like we know what the hell to do with that information.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
Some of my best memories are naps.
The coolest tourist attraction in the world is the Sistine Chapel, because it`s full of ceiling fans.
Eventually, the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics.
I hate when I`m about to hug somebody really sexy and my face hits the mirror!!
I like to reward myself for getting up on time by laying in bed for another 20 minutes.
Nice try blocked number, but I don`t even answer my phone when I know who`s calling.
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them,The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...
Women forgive and forget but always make sure you don`t forget that they forgave you and forgot about it.
I got my panties all in a bunch ... You know those Wal Mart 10 pack cotton bundles.