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Happy people don`t take long showers.
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
That weird moment when u just say "what`s up " to someone and they thing you`re a shrink.
"Who`s this clown?" - every guy about every other guy who is in a photo with a girl we like
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
When I was a kid and was going to "get it" that was bad. Now I`m an adult and I`m going to "get it" :)
I like to start my morning off with a good nap.
Remember when AT&T told you to "reach out and touch someone" and you ended up with that restraining order? ... Good times!
I`m putting more thought into my Halloween costume than into my job.
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it`s only Tuesday
I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
Don`t be that guy that goes around saying "Don`t Be That Guy."
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.