Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
Well I was gonna donate blood today until the lady got all personal and started asking "who´s blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders
There comes a time in the day, when no matter what the question, the answer is booze.
Just once I wanna see a pregnancy test commercial where the female is like, "Aww, f**k..."
Last night I got drunk and ate 3 tennis balls by mistake, f*ck you Pringle`s.
I got this weird condition where I drink a case of beer and fall down.
My give a damn is busted! Parts on backorder....
Soup of the day: Beer
My favorite thing about naps is that I don`t have to talk to people during them
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets
You know what’s easy? ... Opening another beer
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.