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Driving with your gas tank door open is the equivalent to having your zipper down.
Our office just got a new conference table. It sleeps 20.
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.
#1738 "The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me."-dd
All`s not lost my Friends. It won`t be long til people realize Selfie Sticks also make wonderful lightning rods......
It takes patience to listen, it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
I didn’t give you the finger...you earned it.
Thought I was having deja-vu. But it turns out, I do the exact same things every day.
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.
Pizza is like sex, when it is good it`s very good, When it`s bad...it`s still pretty good.
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?