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Why do they play this music on the elevators if we`re not suppose to slow dance.
This liquor store needs a dollar menu.
I am not the same person at 8am and 8pm.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
Holy sh!t! I just opened a bag of cheddar and sour cream Ruffles and one of the chips was plain. This is a sign, man. God is going to smite all of us f*ckers with his wrath and send us to all to burn in the eternal flames of... Sorry. Just one side of the chip was plain. Carry on.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
I need my coffee before I start pretending to work.
I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.
9/10 students agree that someone got lost on the field trip
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
Life is like a teenager`s p@nis. some are short, some are long, but it is always hard.
24 astronauts were born in Ohio.....What is it about that state that makes people want to flee the Earth?
I wonder if Brazil has a wax museum?