Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You know you are getting old when you see girls from TEEN category moved to MATURE & MILFS.
It is kinda at the point where everything in my life is a movie reference
The Hulk just texted me a picture of a zucchini, I think?
Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it`s wide use three fingers, make sure it`s wet and rub up and down. Yep that`s how you wash a cup.
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
Holding up score cards during sex is not acceptable, apparently.
How big does a cupcake have to be before it`s just a cake?
I`d like to have a child one day...Two days, tops.
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
My fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that I lied about on my drivers license.
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
Want to watch a nerd have a melt down? Tell him that you just bought an Android Ipad.
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.