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Do you ever wish you were a monkey? Then if you got mad at someone, you could just fling your poo at them. Problem solved.
Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
You say stalker. I say unpaid private investigator.
I can`t believe it`s been a year since I didn`t become a better person....
Sometimes I like to play God and just ignore everyone when they talk to me.
I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
So far today has been a pretty good day...I haven`t had to bite or hit anyone, yet!!
I just saw a 2 or 3yr old boy wearing a t-shirt that says, "if mom or dad wont buy it I`ll just sms grandma and grandpa"
Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.
I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my debit card goes through.
The thinner the eyebrow, the crazier the woman.
If your friends tell you not to give in to peer pressure and you don`t: technically, you did