Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
My life is just one long improvisation.
If I text with “Almost there!” I haven’t left yet.
If you see someone crying, ask if it`s because of their haircut.
Guys that try to pick up girls on facebook are pathetic. Girls if you agree, message me your number so we can talk about it.
I`m happy, but not "Oprah just told me to look under my chair" happy.
A fun thing to yell at a magic show is "BURN HIM, HE`S A WITCH"
My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn’t illegal to talk in the car while I’m driving.
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
Magician: Now I will cut the woman in half. Me: Why turn one problem into two?
Very little scares me. So does very big.
All I`m saying is there`s a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them.
If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?