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FITNESS TIP: Set a regular gym schedule that`s easy to keep up with. For example, I work out once every 4 years after I vote for president.
I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
On the bright side, all that coal will keep me warm this winter.
So what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s a$$ to fall off.
If it wasn’t for caffeine I wouldn’t be a functioning member of society.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
Ladies first. Because it might be dangerous.
Dear math, please stop asking us to find your x. She`s not coming back. And we don`t no y either.
if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.
I really worried about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
I always assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
Today I´m going to entertain the kids with a game of duct, duct, tape.