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I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
I hate having to work for a living. But I hate starving even more.
Decaf only works if you throw it on people.
When people ask me if I`m working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they`re hurting hard or hardly hurting.
"I`ll let you know" = I need more time to come up with an excuse
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
Gun Control: Use both hands
How many HA’s equal a LOL? How about a LMAO? Is there a conversion chart somewhere?
In terms of procrastination, I`ve had a very productive day.
If you have a mirror handy, kindly gaze into it and you will find your problem
Vegetarian is an old Native American word for bad hunter.
I don’t use Siri because I have to deal with enough women who have no personality and know everything.
Rejected Olympic Events: Javelin Catch... Jello Shotput... Border Fencing... Cardboard Boxing... Menstrual Cycling... Salad Tossing... Wrestling Demons...
I love sleep because its like a time machine to breakfast.
:): The Bipolar smiley face